My First Love

She was undoubtedly the most graceful girl of the world with pure in heart. I was the most fortunate person on the earth as she chose me to love unconditionally. I was world to her, and she was my first love. I loved her so much and she loved me to the moon and back.

In spite of a difficult financial condition of my family, she encouraged me to dream big and not to give up under any circumstances. She wanted me to do well in my life.

I studied hard, I worked hard. I became what she wanted me to be at that point of time. She was happy, I was happy because she was happy. But our happiness was short lived. She was not keeping well and got diagnosed with an ‘incurable’ disease. I wanted to cry and pray. Instead, I said to myself “Fuck them! Fuck them! I will fight this. I will do anything and everything to make her survive.”

10 years, for 10 years we fought this battle together, from one hospital to another, from one doctor to another, from one medical test to another, from one hospitalization to another.

Over the past one year her condition was deteriorating. I almost went into depression. Although, I did not tell her what I was going through, she sensed it. She was worried. She prayed for me like she always did in the past.

On 15th August, when whole nation was getting ready to celebrate Independence Day and Nag Panchami, I was standing beside her bed in ICU, clasping her hand, trying to conceal my tears, putting on a brave face and shouting “You will be fine, everything will be ok, don’t lose hope, don’t lose faith.” She looked at me for the last time and replied “Yes! Yes!”

She was a brave heart. She fought like a lioness but lost to fate. The most graceful woman of this world was gone. My First Love was gone. My mother was gone. I was standing there shocked, numbed, speechless.

People come and console me on my loss. That is extremely kind for them to do, and I am grateful for that, however, I am not quite sure why I am still saying to myself “Fuck them! Fuck them! They don't know. They don't know our bond. She has not gone anyplace. First Love never dies. She is still alive in my heart and will always be.”

PS: This blog is a happy, positive and inspiring place. Sorry for drifting away this time. Sorry, but I cannot move to another story before I have told this one.