My First Love

She was undoubtedly the most graceful girl of the world with pure in heart. I was the most fortunate person on the earth as she chose me to love unconditionally. I was world to her, and she was my first love. I loved her so much and she loved me to the moon and back.

In spite of a difficult financial condition of my family, she encouraged me to dream big and not to give up under any circumstances. She wanted me to do well in my life.

I studied hard, I worked hard. I became what she wanted me to be at that point of time. She was happy, I was happy because she was happy. But our happiness was short lived. She was not keeping well and got diagnosed with an ‘incurable’ disease. I wanted to cry and pray. Instead, I said to myself “Fuck them! Fuck them! I will fight this. I will do anything and everything to make her survive.”

10 years, for 10 years we fought this battle together, from one hospital to another, from one doctor to another, from one medical test to another, from one hospitalization to another.

Over the past one year her condition was deteriorating. I almost went into depression. Although, I did not tell her what I was going through, she sensed it. She was worried. She prayed for me like she always did in the past.

On 15th August, when whole nation was getting ready to celebrate Independence Day and Nag Panchami, I was standing beside her bed in ICU, clasping her hand, trying to conceal my tears, putting on a brave face and shouting “You will be fine, everything will be ok, don’t lose hope, don’t lose faith.” She looked at me for the last time and replied “Yes! Yes!”

She was a brave heart. She fought like a lioness but lost to fate. The most graceful woman of this world was gone. My First Love was gone. My mother was gone. I was standing there shocked, numbed, speechless.

People come and console me on my loss. That is extremely kind for them to do, and I am grateful for that, however, I am not quite sure why I am still saying to myself “Fuck them! Fuck them! They don't know. They don't know our bond. She has not gone anyplace. First Love never dies. She is still alive in my heart and will always be.”

PS: This blog is a happy, positive and inspiring place. Sorry for drifting away this time. Sorry, but I cannot move to another story before I have told this one.

What I am reading: 80% Mindset 20% Skills by Dev Gadhvi

I did not quite like this book, not because it is bad. The reason being there is nothing new to learn in this book. I invested in this because of its attractive title.

Good for a beginner, who has just started reading self-help books, however, if you have already read books from Grant Cardone, Dan Lok, Tim Ferriss, Robert Kiyosaki and Nepoleon Hill, you would find there are repetitions of what you already know.

Author is very much influenced by Grant Cardone and so much in this book from his best-selling book ‘The 10X Rule’. It is better you read ‘The 10X Rule’ by Grant Cardone than reading this book.

Author has lot many good suggestions for different areas of the life however he didn't throw much light on how to implement those suggestions. He is asking to join his workshops so that he can suggest how to implement learning from this book.

Long story short this is an average book considering its prize. Good luck to the author!!

Key Learning from “The One Minute Manager” by Kenneth Blanchard and Spencer Johnson

This one is a classic. First time published in 1982, this book has sold over 13 million copies and been translated into 37 languages. I have read this in the past and have just reread again.

Louis P. Neeb President of Fast Food Division, W. R. Grace & Co has said about this book that “Buying copies of The One Minute Manager is one of the best investments I’ve made in myself and in our managers.”

Such a powerful less than 100 pages book is this and really a quick read. I finished just in one sitting.

These are the 3 key learning (which Kenneth and Spencer called ‘Secret’) from this book:

The First Secret: One Minute Goals

1. Agree on your goals.
2. See what good behavior looks like.
3. Write out each of your goals on a single sheet of paper using less than 250 words.
4. Read and re-read each goal, which requires only a minute or so each time you do it.
5. Take a minute every once in a while out of your day to look at your performance.
and
6. See whether or not your behavior matches your goal.

Authors recommend following 80:20 principle while doing the goal setting, which means 80% results should come from 20% goals.

The Second Secret: One Minute Praising

1. Tell people up front that you are going to let them know how they are doing.
2. Praise people immediately.
3. Tell people what they did right—be specific.
4. Tell people how good you feel about what they did right, and how it helps the organization and the other people who work there.
5. Stop for a moment of silence to let them “feel” how good you feel.
6. Encourage them to do more of the same.
7. Shake hands or touch people in a way that makes it clear that you support their success in the organization.

Here authors recommend to catch people doing something right. Take a moment to comment and appreciate on something they have accomplished that you value.

The Third Secret: One Minute Reprimand

1. Tell people beforehand that you are going to let them know how they are doing and in no uncertain terms.

The first half of the reprimand:
2. Reprimand people immediately.
3. Tell people what they did wrong—be specific.
4. Tell people how you feel about what they did wrong—and in no uncertain terms.
5. Stop for a few seconds of uncomfortable silence to let them feel how you feel.

The second half of the reprimand:
6. Shake hands, or touch them in a way that lets them know you are honestly on their side.
7. Remind them how much you value them.
8. Reaffirm that you think well of them but not of their performance in this situation.
9. Realize that when the reprimand is over, it’s over.

Here, authors recommend One minute reprimands should be given as soon as an employee does something wrong. One minute reprimands are effective because the feedback is immediate and one need not wait for annual performance review to give or obtain the feedback. Also, since one mistake is pointed out at one time, the person attends to it seriously and can take action to work on it and correct it.

In ‘The New One Minute Manager’, One Minute Reprimand is now the One Minute Redirect. Today, where everyone is the learner as there is constant need of skill development, Redirect is more applicable and relevant than Reprimand.

Have you read this book already? If not, I would highly recommend, please do read this. This would help a lot in your dealing with people whether you are a ‘designated’ manager or not.